Burning for Love
by kuja-nara
Summary: When Fabian arrives at the New York Institute a contained chaos begins. Friendships, romances and curses are all discovered while hearts are broken and boundaries are pushed. Can the stranger finally find the home and love he seeks or will he be the destruction of what the conclave have fought to protect? All the usual pairings.


**Hey Guys so this is my first story in a good 6 years so please bare with me. I've been playing around with the idea for a while now so fingers crossed you like it as much as i do. Reviews are greatly appreciated to help me out!**

 **The amazing Cassandra Clare owns this world, im just lucky to play with the characters within it.**

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Fabian Youngblood sighed and rolled over to face the large oak door to his bedroom, since coming in earlier that evening he had resided himself to unwind under the warm water of the shower then retire to wait on his bed. It was hardly the life of the average eighteen year old but something about the way the day had unfolded had left Fabian completely drained. Shadowhunters were proud and honest people, something he couldn't help but feel he lacked as of late. They were unable to go back on their words so why did it feel that he had lied to himself?

Moving to place a hand under the silk pillow to prop himself up Fabian paused briefly to blow a lock of his shoulder length auburn curls away from his eyes; it didn't matter how he attempted to tame the wind fuzz it always managed to get in his way and irritate him. Releasing the air he had been holding onto he collapsed back into the soft depths of the mattress and couldn't help but wonder whether it was possible to age years in only a day? The entire day his mind had been elsewhere from his body ultimately putting not just himself in danger, if it hadn't been for the fact of the accords he doubted he would have returned home safe after having to deal with an angry coven of vampires. Besides a cut to the chest he was reasonably unscathed.

Ever since he'd initially finished his training his daily routine had been the same, he would get up, do as the conclave wished of him and then lock himself away in his room away from the constant shouting arguments that could be heard from the halls of the Berlin institute. Fabian didn't doubt he was probably reason for some of the fights that had occurred yet he felt no need to disrupt and throw himself inside the mess as some unwanted peace keeper. In truth, Nadia who resided as head of the institute was a lovely woman… the toxic relationship she held with her husband however was enough to drive anyone mad. It was a wonder to anyone who looked upon them while they still remained together, though maybe if Fabian looked close enough he could still see the threads of love that the pair couldn't bring to sever… Love… it was a novel idea to him. Something that he would often toy around with before dismissing altogether. He wasn't born to be accepted let alone loved.

Closing his eyes Fabian tried to bring a peace to his mind from the constant thoughts that were swirling inside his head… that was at least until he heard a soft knocking at the door. Remaining silent he hoped that whoever It was would leave him alone sooner rather than later, when the knocking returned once again however at a more urgent pace Fabian groaned but got to his feet all the same. He just hoped whoever it was had a good enough reason to be disturbing him. With his black oversized jeans and vest top falling into place over his carefully worked muscles he forced himself towards to the door, his feet silent against the cool wood of the floor to his bedroom. Fabian wasn't overly chunky but he was still clearly defined, something that was common among the hunters of his age due to the sheer exercise they faced; had they been in the mundane world then maybe people would go as far as to call him extremely attractive. Carefully opening the door he gazed out to see a small girl with red tear soaked swollen cheeks and dishevelled blonde plaits dangling down. If anyone in all his years could claim to have made an impression on him then it was the Nephilim before him.

Sighing he felt himself soften at the child, it broke his heart at times to see Millie like this. If her parents stopped shouting long enough to notice what it was doing to their daughter then it would solve everyone's problems and save the poor girl from being thrown in the middle of the constant battle. Stepping aside as was forming an unwanted tradition Fabian allowed Millie access into his room and as was usual she made a beeline straight for the comfy bed. Fabian was unsure when this unlikely bond formed between them but as long as he could offer her some relief then he was more than willing to continue in his way of comforting.

Shutting the rest of the world out he slowly moved his way back towards the bed, crawling back up onto the soft covers he turned to lie on his back so he could watch the ceiling; while it was hardly the star gazing he loved it offered an area of focus that his attention needed to stop his anger at her parents from releasing. Fabian could not conceive just how selfish they were being, it was ultimately ruining their daughters childhood but bringing that up would just bring more chaos for the young Nephilim. Feeling a small arm rest against his toned stomach he reassuringly rested a hand on the back of the girl that had begun cuddling up to him to silence her tears, neither of them needed to speak to get across their thoughts to the other. As long as she knew he was here for her then that was enough… at least for now.

Fabian could remember long ago when the institute had been filled with laughter and parties instead of the harsh bickering, back when he had been a child himself just that bit older than Millie. It had been a snowy New Years Eve when he found himself banging on the doors of the institute having run away from home seeking refuge, it had been one of the best decisions he had ever made but also one of the hardest. He missed his family every day but he knew he didn't fit with them, it was the sacrifice he had made to gain access to the clave, something no child should ever have been forced to go through. Being dragged out of his thoughts at the feeling of dry sobs shaking against his side Fabians grip on the girl tightened. When Nadia had delivered Millie it was as if part of Fabian had been returned, as if his little sister had been returned to him.

Fabian had lost track of time but when he assumed something like half an hour had passed he eventually turned his attention to the child.

"Shush now," he softly tried to comfort her as he tapped one finger methodically at a time against her back, "they love you even if they don't always show it." How could anyone expect a child to sit through the constant bickering and be ok?

"I… I… Know," Millie attempted to respond through the deep breaths she was attempting to take to calm herself down. It was a wonder how the girl managed to turn out so kind hearted despite everything, Fabian knew he would have easily lost himself had he been in her position. Forcing a smile for her sake he moved his hand up to mess up her hair, his temper had never been the best but he was trying his hardest for her.

"Its not a weakness to show tears. Let it out, take a deep breath and then be ready to face a new day. It's a strength in itself simply to admit when things aren't right." As much as Fabian preached he knew he was lying to himself, he had his own secrets that he would keep buried. Millie needed him however, needed his strength. "We're shadowhunters, its in our blood to get knocked down and get back up again…. Besides, your crying is tickling my sides." Feeling the girl giggle Fabian pushed himself up and out of her arms so that he was sat up looking down at her. "Personally I think I should get my revenge," reaching out he began to run his fingers along her sides, her sobs soon turned to a half giggle/half squeal. After a couple minutes however he let up and rested back against the headboard, a knowing smirk plastered on his features, somebody needed to put a smile on her pretty little face at the end of these tough days.

"Fabe," Millie started as she moved to sit on his lap as if they'd done it for years, "do you have to go away?" Her delicate little face was sad but she seemed to be doing better with the news then she initially had… something he was somewhat grateful for. The last thing he wanted to deal with was walking away knowing he had broken her little heart. Initially she had screamed and cried herself to sleep, it seemed now at least she had come to some form of acceptance of it even if she didn't like it.

"Afraid so. When you've grown up a bit you'll understand my reasoning."

"Are you sure? Mummy says I have to stay little and cute but I want to be big like you now." Looking into the girls eyes Fabian couldn't help but softly chuckle at her seriousness, she always knew how to lighten his mood.

"Yes, im perfectly sure. Besides im not going forever, I'll come visit and you can show me how much you've grown." If Fabian had his way he'd never step foot in Germany again but that wasn't something he could say to the expectant child before him.

"If you're sure," Millie pouted before moving her attention to begin tracing the various runes still visible across his skin up his arms. "Where are you going?"

"New York." Fabian needed a fresh start and getting out the continent seemed to be the perfect option. Maybe he was being a coward or maybe he was just being smart…. Either way it seemed the only option seeing as Alicante was off the list; over the years people had become more accepting but nowhere near enough compared to what he needed to be able to live in peace.

Seeing the seven year olds eyes drifting shut Fabian smiled softly at her before lifting her up and getting to his feet, she needed to sleep and while the cuddles were cute he wanted his own bed back for the night besides he doubted her parents would appreciate finding her gone in the morning. Cradling her in his strong arms he steadily made his way out the door and along the corridor to her own room. Despite the institute being like a maze to the eyes they all seemed to sleep down the same hall, Fabe couldn't help but agree it made sense… even if it did bring the noise closer. Nudging her door open awkwardly with his left foot he carried her inside cursing under his breath at the weight of the door and placed her gently on the bed.

"Sleep time for the little hunter," he pointed out when he noticed her eyes groggily looking up at him. Reaching to pull the pink duvet over her and tuck her in, Fabian leant forward and kissed her forehead. The closeness between them was something he knew he would always miss, it would be irreplaceable no matter where he ran. "Night night, don't like the bed pixies bite." Before he could finish however he noticed the soft purring as her light snores took over the room. Rolling his eyes in good humour at her sweet little ways he turned and headed back to his own room silently. Making sure he shut the door behind him softly he couldn't help but steal one last glance at the sleeping girl, the guilt of abandoning his family for the second time was slowly beginning to eat away at him with the guilt.

Upon re-entry he sighed once again softly, it seemed the arguing had finally stopped and the institute was at least at peace as midnight struck. He'd miss the place greatly but something about the situation meant he knew he wouldn't regret his decision to leave; they all knew it was inevitable. Walking across the room he dropped to his knees and pulled out the duffel bag that was hidden beneath the bed packed and ready to go. Leaving in the silence of the night seemed the least fuss, no good byes had to be forced through tearful embraces… it was purposely why had had waited for all to sleep. Swinging the bag up and over his shoulder he headed towards the door, pausing to glance at himself in the mirror he froze briefly. The sight was something he had grown to accept as normal, high cheek bones, a prominent nose, pale skin… each feature was defined just like his mothers had been without being too attention seeking. When his view landed on his eyes however he immediately cringed, it was the horror that he was forced to live with… the curse that would follow him for the rest of his life. Grabbing the plain black sunglasses off the side he quickly placed them on his face before leaving the old church for the last time. Without looking back he was absorbed into the night unknowing of the tears Nadia shed for him as she watched on from her office window. His journey to America for his new life had begun…

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 **So there you go guys! Review, fave and follow to see where this goes and just what Fabian is running from... dun dun dunnnnnn**


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